“Early childhood trauma: the gift that keeps giving”

Now, that being said, there are two types of people reading this post; the ones who say “Sure, but what's that have to do with an 80’s cartoon?” and the ones who say “Finally someone said it! I know exactly where he’s going with this!” This is the story of how one made-for-children movie scarred an entire generation but also told them…    

♫   You’ve got the touch!   ♫

While those of you in the latter group queue up the greatest movie soundtrack of all time, let me explain what we already know to people in the first group. The 80’s were replete with larger-than-life, summer blockbuster movies filled with iconic and catchy lines:

“He slimed me.” – Dr. Peter Venkman  /  “Snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes?” – Indiana Jones  /  “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” – Doc Brown   /   “You can be my wingman anytime.” – Iceman   /   “No, I am your father.” – Darth Vader    /   “I’ll be back.” – The Terminator

But Reagan-era politics gave rise to one of the most lasting and, arguably, most endearing parts of the 1980’s; the cartoons!

Children of the 80’s were treated to vast toy lines from their favorite Saturday morning, or after school, animated adventures.  Never before had mass production and the TV been paired together so commercially or with mass market in mind. After the credits rolled, you could take your favorite action figures to the park and act out all sorts of story lines. The ThunderCats and Ghostbusters regularly teamed up with the Autobots against Mumm-ra and the evil Decepticons in my backyard. What kid couldn’t keep themselves entertained with their beloved animated heroes? You see, there was a formula to the 80’s cartoon that made them so easily recognizable and their merchandise so sought after. An emblem for the heroes that explained the cartoon in a single graphic. A catchy theme song telling the origin story designed to get stuck in your head. A life lesson a child could understand in each episode. A bad guy so ridiculously over the top they belonged in 2020. COLLECTIBLES, COLLECTIBLES, COLLECTIBLES.

Every 80’s franchise milked their merchandise to death. You couldn’t pick up a six pack of Jolt Cola without one of the myriad of characters from these cartoons and movies plastered on the side.  This trend definitely continued into the 90’s but, much like myself, it came out kicking and screaming in the 1980’s.

80’s story-telling, in general, was optimistic and, dare I say, hopelessly quixotic - exceedingly idealistic, unrealistic, and impractical. The sky was the limit on creativity, though. Remember the Tiger Sharks or Silver Hawks? WTF? It was an amazingly “safe” time to be a child, but a terribly expensive time to be a parent with birthday and holiday wish lists.

Then, something very special happened in 1984. Hasbro, the toy manufacturer for many children’s cartoon shows, decided it was time to bring out a new line of Transformer action figures. They could have introduced the new characters in the ongoing cartoon show, but they wanted something more… dramatic. Hasbro tried something that had never been done before, they wanted to jump from the small screen in your living room to the big screen at the movie theaters. In the summer of 1986 movie goers got their first glimpse of a children’s TV show turned major box office blockbuster - heavy metal opera:

The 80’s speed racer, Judd Nelson, literally plays a sports car named Hot-Rod. Leonard Nimoy, trying to distance himself from his image as Spock, plays the evil new bad guy, Galvitron. And Orson Wells plays a giant robot planet cruising through space devouring smaller worlds. It would be his last film, and the sound of his breathing machine got worked into the movie as an ominous background effect. Watching the trailer just doesn’t do the film justice. That being said, I have no idea who they thought they were making this movie for. Sure the kids wanted to see it because it was Transformers, but the almost shakespearean dialog, bitchin’ 80’s heavy metal, and soul shattering, over the top, write-a-letter-to-your-congressman level of violence stunned and seared a wound in their audience the likes of which hasn’t been seen since.

- WARNING - SPOILERS AHEAD -

On August 8th 1986, the movie was released and took North America by storm. Shortly thereafter, the letter writing campaigns started as parents were horrified by the violence. Since the Transformers were robots, the Motion Picture Association gave the film a PG rating even though the violence, and even swearing, probably should have automatically gotten it a hard R. Sure, there wasn’t any robot sex, but arguably something more scarring happened which is the very crux of this post, but we’re going to get to that…

Before I say anything more, it is of paramount importance that you acquaint yourself with the greatest movie soundtrack of all time. Here are some of the fan favorite tracks. Behold the glory of the 80’s:

The latter two tracks I think really conceptualize that hopelessly quixotic mindset of the 80’s I was talking about earlier. In this film, however, they served to soothe the trauma and taught us a valuable lesson; how to grieve: Lyrics to Dare by Stan Bush

Even though I wouldn’t see the movie until the late 80’s on VHS, no one had prepared me for what an entire generation of children experienced on the big screen and, let me assure you, it was no less traumatizing on the 19 inch boxy, wood finished, TV in my bedroom. Cartoons were supposed to be safe, entertaining, and maybe even educational. I’d say Transformers the movie had the last two down, but certainly not the first. You see, every 80’s cartoon episode told a self-contained story with no real consequences or violence. The good guys foiled the bad guys' plans in the nick of time, and rarely did anyone walk away with even a skinned knee despite the laser beams or ninja swords. But this movie took place in the far off year of 2005, and Transformers The Movie did something no “children’s” programming had ever had the guts to do before; kill off main characters. We were all stunned when the movie started with a new bad guy the size of a planet devouring a world of living machines, only for the next 25 minutes of the film to blast us in the face with an epic battle between Autobots and Decepticons that murdered our favorite toys.

Seriously, we watched our toys die, fire and fluids shooting from their mouth as the light in their eyes faded and their empty, soulless metal husks came crashing down to the ground. A cartoon show about transforming robots from another planet taught a generation of kids that the difference between good and evil was how they perceive resources. Energon, the resource by which the Autobots and Decepticons powered themselves, was rare. The Decepticons hoarded it while the Autobots traded and cooperated for it. Then the movie suddenly taught children the cruelty of the real world; no one is safe, not even the leader and mentor of the Autobots, Optimus Prime. At the end of the first act of the movie, an entire gobsmacked audience watched their Saturday morning hero die and rust.

No, he doesn’t come back. Neither do Wheeljack, Windcharger, Ratchet, Brawn, Prowl or Ironhide. Those are just the characters I can remember off the top of my head. That shortlist doesn’t even include Starscream or the other Decepticons that get it. The writers showed us the real consequences of war and the true nature of evil. It begins with a greed for resources, but it ends with the power, the light inside us all. The “Matrix of leadership” that Optimus passes to his successor was the tangible MacGuffin of wisdom and courage. It was the one thing that could stop the great evil in the universe, in this story's case, Unicron, the robot the size of a planet that consumed entire worlds. By the end of the film both the good guys and bad guys join forces to stop the doom that threatens both of them, the destruction of their own planet; Cybertron. Not only does the movie show us the true consequences of war, but also the consequences of finding peace, if only temporary, to do something that could have never been done if the two sides had stayed divided. If Star Trek 4 showed us the importance of saving the whales, Transformers the Movie showed us the importance of saving the entire fucking planet. It seared into the minds of children the consequences of petty resource wars.

By the end of the movie, Leonard Nimoy’s Galvitron has murdered Optimus’ successor and pried the MacGuffin, the Autobots Matrix of leadership, from his chest. The evil Galvitron believes he can make Unicron his slave as both the Autobots and Decepticons know it’s the one thing that can stop the planet sized terror. Hot-Rod and the other Autobots have to board Unicron and retrieve the Matrix of leadership from Galvitron knowing it could be a suicide mission. By now, the audience knew all bets were off. All of their toys and heroes are dead. Anything can happen.

Thank god it had a happy ending. All bets were off there for a while. Later on, Hasbro would claim they had no idea how popular Optimus Prime was and, had they known, they might not have killed him off. No other beloved 1980’s, or for that matter 1990’s, cartoon had gone to the length that the Transformers had and it scarred an entire generation of kids that grew up to be adults by 2020. Generation X and the millennials are more worldly conscious because of this type of story telling that left an enduring message in all of us. Unlike the Ghostbusters or Ninja Turtles, Transformers stepped outside the box and took risks to tell its story, children’s feelings be damned. I assure you there is an entire generation of men still processing the hurt, but also the enlightenment this movie left with us. I was only 5 years old when I saw it, and the soundtrack is still in my top Spotify tracks and like many nerds from the 80’s I have my own little shrine.

Optimus is pointing saying “You’ve got the touch!”

Every time I post a picture of my transformers, or the times I’ve decorated my desk at the office with some memorabilia, inevitably, someone approaches me to explain how much they loved the Transformers. They then proceed to nervously tell me how the film affected them unsure if an adult will hold space, even momentarily, for a shaping experience from their childhood that still echoes around their head as an adult. I usually follow their story with “At five years old, it's how I learned what death was, and the responsibility to the world that we all have.” It usually catches them a little off guard, showing how long I've thought about it and how I internalized and folded it into my living narrative moving forward as with any childhood trauma. It's always been a good icebreaker at a new job and a way to get some quick nerd cred to start planting the seeds that I’m someone who values childlike authenticity.

I’m sure it won't surprise anyone to know Transformer the Movie, and its influence on me, helped shape aspects of The Amaranth Chronicles.  Chris and I wanted to bake in a little Judd Nelson’s Hot-Rod into our character “Aurelius Blaze''. Now, there’s a third audience for this post who saw Transformers and have read The Amaranth Chronicles: Deviant Rising and understand what I mean. To you, I salute you. You are why I do this.